shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
