I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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