what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
