i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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