i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
