masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
