you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
