I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
