It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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