found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
