we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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