i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize