So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
