He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
