I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
