i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize