I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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