Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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