You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
