i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
