So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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