No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
