Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
