I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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