youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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