dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
