dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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