this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
