she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize