I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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