It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
