she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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