I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
