I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize