Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
