Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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