i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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