I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
