so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
