Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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