We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
