Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it because I queefed?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
