Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
