I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
