You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
