Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
