I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
