i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
