Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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