I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
