My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Randomize
