How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm way too hungover for life right now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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