He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
