you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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