You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize