so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
