I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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