that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize