Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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