mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My pussy is not your playground.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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