ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
