Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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