I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
