im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
