I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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