The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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