you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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